Shame is a tricky thing, because it comes with experiences and is wrapped into other emotions.   At the end of my conversation with Dania Chebib I asked her how we should end our recording. And she said, "Shame is not your story." It was perfect, so I made it the title of episode 304.  Dania is a psychotherapist practicing out of Kelowna, British Columbia.   Her areas of specialty include: ADHD/Autism in adults, negative self-talk/self-esteem, grief, trauma, anxiety, depression, LGBTQQI, sleep disorders, substance abuse, chronic pain, HSP's, and stage of life issues.  Are you impressed, yet?  Hear about:  -Dania's ADHD story -Rewriting your own story and developing self-compassion -Knowing when to walk away from an unhealthy situation -ADHD discrimination -Creating your own sense of credibility in your work -Shame as an inhibitory emotion -Recognizing shame -Mental health stigma as a societal issue -The difference between shame and guilt  Dania teaches you how to go into your bodyduring minutes 37-47 so be sure to listen to this!  FIND DANIA: helixintegrativehealth.ca/dania-chebib  psychologytoday.com/ca/therapists/dania-chebib-kelowna-bc/363340  instagram.com/daniachebib/   Click to view: show page on Awesound

304 | Shame Is Not Your Story

If you're trying to understand ADHD, what it is, what it isn't, or looking for strategies to help improve your life, you're in the right place.   Each episode explores some aspect of ADHD. Whether you embrace it as a gift or mainly struggle with executive function challenges, you will learn through guests' personal stories, ah-ha moments, or tips and tricks to try yourself, there's always something to take away. Earlier episodes are hosted by ADHD Coach Jennie Friedman with guests like Jessica McCabe, from How to ADHD, and Rick Green of Totally ADD and discover the broad range of viewpoints that create our collective understanding. Decide for yourself what's the most important thing about ADHD that everyone should know. www.seeinadhd.com

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This isn't a spooky story. But I definitely had an ADHD Meltdown.
It started out with a school holiday and ended with me questioning the direction of my entire life and business.
This is the story and what I did to dig my way out of it - with a teensy* bit of ADHD science thrown in.
Link to Cognitive Behavioral Therapy for Adult ADHD
Link to The ADHD Enclave

The ADHD Meltdown - Spooky Halloween Edition

Several years ago when I was writing more posts about homemaking someone suggested I produce an ADHD Home Management binder. I laughed. A lot. Because I am absolutely not an expert on managing a home with or without ADHD.
But I will say I've come to terms with how ADHD affects my ability to manage my home. And I've developed systems that work FOR ME. I don't claim to know how to help everyone.
In this podcast episode I discuss simple household management and cleaning schedules. 
I'll break down five ways to simplify your home management, including:

 Plan less. Stop making massive to-do lists. 


 Cook less. Simplify your meal planning and cooking.


  Choose just one planner or calendar. 


  One day per week take a break from household chores. 


  Limit your use of apps on your phone. The more apps you have to check-in with each day, the more time you will spend on said apps. 

The second part of the podcast is around cleaning schedules.
I have women ask me every day for specific cleaning schedules, tips, hacks etc. I don't do hacks, I can only tell you what works for me.
The Bottom Line is this : DO WHAT YOU CAN, WHEN YOU CAN. That's it. Keep it that simple.


Organizing Solutions for People with ADHD (The book I couldn't remember in the podcast!) 
Clutter Bug - so much fun
A Slob Comes Clean - more organizing fun
Join the Enclave and hang out with us while we work toward a calmer, more satisfying life WITH ADHD.



Household Management

This is the podcast version of one of my most popular posts. 
I talk to a lot of women with ADHD. Some of then work at home, some of them work in the home. No matter what form of, "work" my community members do, they are always working extremely hard. In some respects harder than their neurotypical counterparts.
Listen as I break down the four most common complaints I hear from ADHD women at home:

 Organizational difficulties. Either we don't know how to start or we get hyperfocused and burn ourselves out before the job is done.
 Working memory issues. It's hard to get anything done when you cannot remember what you were thinking thirty seconds ago. When your thoughts, ideas, and inspiration are constantly in flux it leads to overwhelm. (And low motivation)
  Avoidance. Umm we don't like to do boring things. Cleaning, homemaking, and organizing is boring. 
  Multitasking/lack of awareness. In an attempt to overcompensate, many of us start multitasking. In doing so we miss critical information and interactions with the people in our homes. And we also do annoying things like leaving every cabinet door in the kitchen hanging open.

The bottom line: Stop comparing yourself to other people. Accept what is. Sometimes good enough is good enough.
And don't forget to laugh.

The Naked Truth About How ADHD Affects Women in the Home

There are millions articles online about parenting ADHD children, but there are very few about Parents With ADHD.
I've written about it. ADDitude Magazine has had some coverage of it. But there is not a lot of research available about how having ADHD as an adult impacts our ability to parent.
As you can imagine, I got REALLY excited when I noticed Dr. Marcy Caldwell's session on the 2019 ADHD Conference website.
Her session is entitled, Permission Slips, Lunches, Bedtimes and Beyond: Strategies for Surviving Parenthood with ADHD.
You know me when I get excited! I fired off an email to Dr. Caldwell asking her to be on the podcast and spilling my guts about this website and my interest in parenting WITH ADHD.
After we got our schedules aligned we talked. And the results are this amazing podcast episode.
When we have kids our own issues become amplified.
In this episode you will hear:

 Why life management is where we need to start
 Calming the chaos can actually be very emotional
 Why you can't just focus on practical strategies without working on the emotional side at the same time
 The struggle to juggle all the balls as a parent with ADHD
  Why distracted parenting is a big problem for us
  How being a parent with ADHD might be an advantage if your child also has ADHD
  The role of self-care in being the parent you want to be (and treating your ADHD)

For more info or to contact Dr. Caldwell:
Dr. Marcy Caldwell
Rittenhouse Psychological Assessments



Parents WITH ADHD

 Meal planning is only hard if you make it that way. There I said it.
This is going to be a practical, straight-forward lesson on meal planning for busy women. 
I am doing a pop-up at this year's ADHD Conference about meal planning. Because I'm good at it and well...I love it.
This is the breakdown:

 Stock your kitchen - make sure all you/your family's favorite foods are on hand. (This makes your life easier when you don't have an actual plan) 
 Keep it simple - do not cook every day, do not try fancy recipes that require 25 ingredients
  Use the magic of the interwebs to find easy recipes, OR
  Start with a protein, then add side dishes
  Don't force yourself to meal prep, even though it's trendy
  Always shop with a grocery list (favorite foods + what you need to make a couple meals)
  Tools of the trade - crock pots, Instant pots (affiliate link) and toaster ovens
  Meal planning services are affordable and NOT a luxury
  Consider grocery pick-up or delivery because it will save your sanity



Here is the link to the 2019 ADHD Conference - Come and hang out with me, Dani Donovan, and Jessica McCabe from How to ADHD.
Here is the link to my inexpensive ebook collection - Including my Meal Planning ebook
Link to the ADHD Enclave - to hang out with me and my girls

304 | Shame Is Not Your Story

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