Today I’m speaking with Michelle, that’s her alias. She’s an open book, but she struggles to trust others. She can create the illusion of connection for others, but then shuts her own pain down. She does this to protect and manage the emotional experience of others. She tragically lost her father at 14 and dealt with self blame, which often shows up as failure for not being who people needed her to be. It’s so common to find ways to disconnect or distract away from our hurt. Have you ever distracted away from what needs tending to?

Why would I ever tell someone what I need? That’s letting them know your weakness

We all have the capacity to create long lasting change.

I’m Vienna Pharaon, a licensed marriage and family therapist. I’ve spent over 25,000 hours working with individuals, couples and families, which has given me a front-row seat to our capacity for change, no matter how challenging a story might be. This is a show where I speak with anonymous people every week about the challenges they’re facing.

And even though this is not how I work with actual clients – which has months, sometimes years of trust built together over time – it’s pretty incredible where a one-off conversation with someone you don’t know can lead you. In fact, I think it’s quite remarkable. 

I’m the author of the national best selling book ‘The Origins of You,’ which explores how to break family patterns so that you can liberate the way you live and love, and create the life and relationships you’ve always wanted. What I have found time and time again is that our unwanted patterns in our adult lives is unresolved pain from the past that’s grabbing for our attention. 

If we can be brave enough to face our patterns, a lot of beautiful healing work can happen.

That’s why the show is named This Keeps Happening. 

I hope what you hear today helps you as you go through your own journey.

Society & Culture

Personal Journals

History

Philosophy

Places & Travel

Mark Groves and Kylie McBeath stop by and discuss transformational moments in their relationship. They have a new book called “Liberated Love.” Mark hosts The Mark Groves Podcast and Kylie shares daily teachings on relationships and embodied liberation. 

This is the final episode of This Keeps Happening, season 1. We’ll be taking a break from the show for now. If you would like to stay in touch, you can follow Vienna on Instagram at @mindfulmft, join her free newsletter, or grab a copy of her national best-selling book, 'The Origins of You.'

Named: Mark Groves and Kylie McBeath on breaking up and coming back together

Jen feels like she never mattered to her father. He’s extremely reactive and their dynamic has been emotionally damaging for her over the years. Even though she wants to maintain strong boundaries, she feels pressure to make amends as he gets older and enters the final chapters of his life.
 
You can order Vienna's National Best Seller 'The Origins of You' here and you can get a signed copy here.

Navigating boundaries with an aging parent

Paige has a complicated dynamic with her mother. For years, she’s felt leaned upon and pressured to over give in the relationship. She also had to navigate a severe rupture of trust. When Paige was a child, her mom told her that the man who raised her wasn’t her biological father. 
 
Today, Paige wants to heal and set new boundaries with her mother. But now a mother herself, she worries that becoming more distant could mean her son won’t have a relationship with his grandmother. 
 
You can order Vienna's National Best Seller 'The Origins of You' here and you can get a signed copy here.

I'm struggling to set boundaries with my mom

Wellness artist Tracy G shares her endless passion for healing and self-growth. She also reflects on moments that shaped how she shows up in relationships and how trust is an ongoing practice.
 
In a periodic series called ‘Named,’ Vienna speaks with friends and thought leaders about their origin wounds and their path towards healing.
 
You can order Vienna's National Best Seller 'The Origins of You' here and you can get a signed copy here.

Named: Tracy G on re-learning to trust yourself

Leah decided in her 20s to not have children. But today, she finds herself in a relationship with someone who has two of them. She never wanted kids but finds herself attempting to be the kind of parent she always wanted and needed. However, in her quest to be a perfect adult, she's losing her relationship with her own desires, wishes, and boundaries.
 
You can order Vienna's National Best Seller 'The Origins of You' here and you can get a signed copy here. You can also see Vienna live on March 21 in Washington DC. Tickets for the event are here.

Why would I ever tell someone what I need? That’s letting them know your weakness

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